This is everyday, real-life stuff. I told my kids I may have to refer to this graphic sometimes!
Dijamco
This is everyday, real-life stuff. I told my kids I may have to refer to this graphic sometimes!
They gave their input and it was interesting to listen to their perspectives (something I would encourage you to do with kids for anything that concerns them.) . >> One of the most important requests was that any reply was done in a kind way, without a hint of being condescending or manipulative.
Sometimes, it can be tempting to control your kids to make your life easier
But that’s not your job or theirs
Not that kids can’t be helpful
Their main purpose is to be themselves
And our job as parents is to love them for who they are
Not to mold and shape them into our idea of perfection
Like it or not, whining is a means of expression
There’s some sort of need
It could be a physical need - food, water, and/or rest
An emotional need - “I can’t hold it in anymore!” “I feel like I’m going to explode!” “I just need to cry!” . A need for your presence — “I need you to hear me and see me!” “I want you to play with me!” . A straightforward want — “I want to go to the playground!” “I want to go out with my friends!” . A need to be understood — “This is unfair!” I’m not saying to give into any demand if your kid is whining
But do consider what the need is and if there’s a way to work out a win-win (“We can go to the playground after we drop off the groceries.”) . Offer choices when possible
When boundaries need to be set, be fair and kind. For little kids, get on their level. Have empathy.
If the limit needs to be firm, then say so in a calm, unwavering tone. (“No juice after dinner - you know that.”) . Of course, this is much easier when you feel grounded and balance
So take a moment before responding if you need to
And take nice slow breaths, relaxing your face and jaw
If you feel like breaking down, chances are your kid might feel the same
Don’t hesitate to hug an upset child
Showing that you love them in this moment will help them feel secure
They they don’t have to act “perfect” to be lovable
That processing tough emotions is worthwhile and doesn’t make you any less
